
You’ve found me because you want your Depression to go away. You want to be managing your Depression naturally and effectively. But you’re struggling with the numbness, the misery, and the brain fog that comes with the demon.
And if you’re a woman who’s high-functioning but dead inside and you’re ready to take back control of your emotions, thoughts and future without chaining yourself to the medical system and its insistence on recovery from Depression, then you’re in the right place.
I’m going to help you. I’m not going to tell you what to do. But I am going to show you how to do it for yourself.
I’ve lived with Depression since childhood and I’m 52 years old now. For most of my life I was broke, lonely, desperately unhappy and bored out of what was left of my mind. I was drinking too much, eating too much and not sleeping enough. I was sick.
Literally and figuratively.
I was stuck in my Depression, caught up in my symptoms and I firmly believed that I was completely powerless against the beast.
It wasn’t until I was in my late 40’s and my last chance of being a parent of any sort was completely exhausted that I decided things had to change. I made a conscious decision to find a way to live with my pain rather than giving into the Depression and drinking myself to death. Which was what every cell in my body was begging me to do.
I tried everything, I did the socializing, the group therapy, the individual therapy, the medication, the exercising, the meditating, the dieting, blah blah blah.

It all worked. Until it didn’t. And then I’d find myself right back in that place of Depressed again. Feeling stupid, worthless, and incapable of being anything other than a mental health statistic.
But you know what really worked? What continues to work? What made the difference? What started me managing my Depression naturally and effectively?
Accepting that I’ll probably have Depression for life. Creating my own plan for managing the days when I’m too sick to get out of bed. My own plan, not my doctor’s. Mine.
And writing my novel. Pouring out my grief, pain, anger, frustration into my Creature of Fucking Beauty. My novel. Using my Depression as a muse to create fulfillment in my life.
Right now, you’re probably thinking “Yeah that’s alright for you. Your Depression isn’t as bad as mine. You had help. You don’t have other problems to deal with. You had mental health training.”
But the reality is, that’s not your thinking. That’s the demon’s thinking. That’s your brain with its tendency to lean towards Depression trying to convince you to stay beaten down.
It’s fucking lying to you.
It’s making you believe that there’s no enjoyment to be had in this life. It’s making you believe that happy is for other people, not you and it’s making you believe that your life will never be any better than this.
So, you’ve got a choice. You can continue to let the demon control your life and you can continue to chase the ridiculous notion of recovery. But if that’s the route you choose, just be prepared for the fact that your life will never be any different than it is right now.
Actually, that’s not true, it can always get worse.
Or you can face your Depression, head on, and put it firmly in the background where it belongs. Sure, it can, and will, show its face occasionally, and that’s fine, you can handle it. But for most of the time, it’s just lurking in the background while you’re getting on with building your fulfilling life.

You’ve been told that you have Depression and “you must get rid of it.” You’re broken, there’s something so wrong with you that you need a complete overhaul of your life. You need to get out and join groups, you need to exercise more, you need to eat healthily. But most of all, you need to think positively.
You know why that hasn’t worked for you so far?
Because its so generic its irrelevant. It doesn’t address your own specific symptoms, interests, biology, life experience or even modern thinking about Depression.
The reality is that you are not wrong. You have a condition that gives you extra. Extra tolerance, extra love for others, extra understanding of pain, extra joy because you know the depths of despair intimately.
Instead of comparing yourselves to others, trying to follow some Doctor’s plan, trying to ignore your symptoms and beating yourself up because you’re depressed again, what you need to do is accept you have depression.
Learn how to manage it in a way that works best for you. Not anyone else, just you. In a way that’s natural, effective, and well-suited to your lifestyle. You need to use creativity to express yourself and purge the demon. You need to reconnect with things you used to love and give yourself a fucking break. You need to remember who you are.
Plan for your shit days, learn what tools help you, and find your tribe. Those of us who get it, who’ve been there, done that, and bought the essential oil to match it.
It’s time to be who you were before the demon stole your dreams. It’s time to take control of your life. It’s time to show the world that Depression doesn’t make you less than, it makes you stronger. More tolerant, wise, and empathic.
That’s why I created Black Orchid Alchemy.

In my 3 month program I teach you how to create your own shit day plan, your own self-care plan and how to tell your story in a way that’s meaningful to you. You’ll begin to understand your triggers in a deeper way and a specific way, and you’ll learn more about what’s important to you.
It’s all about taking control back, learning about yourself and understanding who you are, now that you’re a person who lives with Depression. A Depression Muse.
It took me years to get to the place I am now. Where I look forward to each day. Where I get out of bed with purpose and a smile on my face. Okay, not a smile, Depressed or not, I’m not a morning person. But I am happy to be alive and that’s something I never thought I’d want to be.
I want to help you experience that. I want to save you all the years it took me and get you to that place quicker. I want you to live the best life you can, and I promise you, that’s a whole lot better than what you have now.
Once you know how, you’ll be managing your Depression naturally and effectively. You’ll be back in control of your life.
If you’ve finally had enough, and you know it’s time to make an empowering decision I want to invite you to email me at drusilla@depressionmuse.com and tell me how Depression affects your life right now. And once your application is approved, I’ll reach out again so we can talk more about your specific situation.
Next time I read a blog, Hopefully it does not disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, however I truly believed you would have something useful to say. All I hear is a bunch of crying about something that you could possibly fix if you werent too busy looking for attention.
And you’re exactly why we are still dealing with stigma and discrimination. Depression doesn’t get “fixed” just because an ignorant blowhard thinks you should stop crying. Quite frankly, if you’re not going to take the time to read and understand my blog posts fully, I’d prefer it if you didn’t read them. And you might want to take a look at why the post annoyed you so much.